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1. |
Pelican Bay
06:01
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dragged through the mud, rising.
there was once a fire in your heart,
now choked free of oxygen.
embers settle on your cheeks
breaking in a broken body,
my decade falling on fallow soil.
love in a waiting room,
with tissue burned and boiled.
take this bitter water
as if i’d really strayed.
i’ll gather light and hold it at my heart
then shed it in showers
feathers fastened by a blanket rust
from the attic, fall and stumble.
what’s another year of nothing
but something deserved
i consoled you when your teeth met asphalt
i tried to catch you on your way down,
but your weight broke my arms
like a great tree that fell, but no rocks shuddered.
though you are gone
i still feel you late at night
when i close my eyes
no clairvoyants needed
anyone could see
the end of this story
from miles away.
it all came to an end
on this concrete slab
in a pool of blood and sulfur
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2. |
Prison of Grass
03:27
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gone missing in the depths of silt and soil
blanketed by the heavy scent of rot,
or an awareness of what was lost.
a memento of collapsing time and space
white lies add up,
and the plot unravels
like ticker tape
a betrayal
wandering spirit
gathering jailers
history in motion
we're due northwest
slice the mother tongue
and wring these hands of blood
noted divisions
on papers red and white
no sense of remorse
even in hindsight
you won't make a martyr out of me
creosote on my hands
and a tongue laced with iron.
my thoughts weigh heavy,
pinned down by a broken heart
for lives never lived
held fast by this patchwork of root and rubble
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3. |
Tar Horoscope
02:32
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obscurant branch, clear the brush
towards the shed neath the thicket's awning
a young body cloistered
each fragment soaked in brine
slurry brewed now annealed
into a long figure,
wrapped in the blanket of evening sun.
obelisk limbs spread,
split the trickling stream.
whose bare bone kisses cement
and joints creak with
thick pendular burden
shards of my bones are wasted,
wasted and ground to dust
each remnant, a passenger
cast out, yet inscribed
exist no more as a collectivity
i hope you live your life without regret, safe from me
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4. |
Rat Creek
02:23
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who are you
sipping pale air
who are you
i have dropped my eyes
who are you
with excommunicator lips
and a tongue sapphire, smooth
let the temple fold in on itself
as if a black hole
until nothing remains, not even the dated photographs
a collection of chrysanthemums kept below floorboards
to one day be dried and arranged in your memory
sequestered for ten years
but I heard your voice one minute too late
my life to the tune of closing doors
scratched a line to separate mine and yours
i never meant to disappoint you
but the fuck if i turn back
with my tail between my legs
walked out in rain
i chose my path
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5. |
Untitled / Hastings Lake
03:58
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kitchen table
sitting in quiet shame
you, amused by outward expression
pushing me to elusive standards,
of the image you kept close to your heart.
but my being, cannot be contained
to a single image.
bound by mutual duty
to uphold appearances
while averting meaningful dialogue
cut me down from the diseased branch
to solid ground, i’d rather break my limbs
than let you prevent me from
planting a new forest
you were assured once
that your mistakes don't define you
you grew to believe it and held it close
and yet you are
every mistake you’ve ever made
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6. |
Halfmoon Bay
04:02
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deja vu, i'm a baby bird
hitting the window of you ad infinitum
let's just say fuck it
and walk away
here's to the bottom
of every bottle!
drove out east at dusk on township 230
left the dog on the edge of the road
watched her a long time in the rear view
til the curvature of the earth took her
father and sentinel, came home empty
a river runs through you,
but never reaches me
a son to do you proud
on blackmail-tinged twilight strolls
one foot then the other
if this doesn’t work,
let plates hit the wall
we can always have a broken limb dialogue
because everything’s in its right place
and i held you
with griever's arms
so that you might one day thaw
and sprout
there is a wound that never heals
it's always there
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7. |
Watchtower
02:26
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emptiness the presence of possibility
head wound under
a clairvoyant sun god that licks his lips
and basks in austerity
my thoughts cut and bled
soured soil and stained wood
i am the child of this land
of those who charred hands
holding them to flame
and i won’t speak to you by name
now i feel that
i should parse your shadow
i fear you, destroyer
as a simple man
of sinew and bone should
each lash a gift
to suffer in paragon's pursuit
oh, to be pious
to be sterling ensconced
to be meek
to be benign
a saxon wrote of your death
i fear him, destroyer
as a simple man
of callow freedom should
here lies one who only spoke in cypher
and i wasted so much time
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8. |
Fly in the Ointment
03:23
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we lay with our arms outstretched,
brought together
through a mutual fear of the linearity of passing time.
we confine each other,
to combat our flight from thought
caught in the tide
sea floor destiny
with this iron lung lifestyle.
no fire bright enough
none to light my way
i want to live my life
with colour
i long to hold these moments
to steady my limbs
i long to hold these moments
in the palms of my hands
in the wells of my mind
in the depths of my heart
earmarking my thoughts just to retain any bit of meaning
even a sliver of light
yet time abducts even our most bitter memories
and we're always in flight
idle, asleep, daydreaming at the switch
and death is an invisible deadline
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9. |
Reunion
01:52
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lost in memory
my existence is forged.
i’m but a ghost, shaded and faint
i’m but a dream fading away
embodiment of your hopes and dreams
wandering with familiar strides
impossible to stray.
broken down, and reduced to the barest of components
only to be built in the ideal image
puppet for others to project on
i am not real
blank canvas to ruin
never lived up to the real thing
maybe one day you’ll meet me.
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10. |
Clive Wearing
02:15
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nothing in mind to grasp,
only air passes
sense of self defined by the time on the clock
what happened to cause this uncertainty?
faceless figures, a life undefinable
unsure if capable of conscious thought
drifting through existence
unrecognizable patterns and objects
desperation to contextualize the emptiness
in weathered journals.
i am awake
sheet paper
with vaguely familiar symbols
locked in procedural pathways
her soft hands upon mine
guiding the tune haunting my ailing mind
if only i could hold onto this
before she leaves
and my mind is silent
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11. |
Deathbed Conversion
06:47
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as time went by, so did we
sympathy stayed my hand, but forgiveness is beyond us
nothing was spared but your absence,
hopes burning within.
and a mockery of attempts
do we deserve the time?
lose myself within,
echoes of what we once were.
a chance at salvation, hope for a new beginning.
our faith is blackened sludge,
pumping through our veins,
clouding these thoughts, and guiding my voice.
there once was meaning
to our unholy conviction.
now, the beliefs are a prison
purposed to raze
beneath the salvation of my thoughts,
this pile of embers
and a wasteland of free will.
encasing my body,
rotting away my soul,
breaking my spirit with undying hate, malicious thoughts.
turning my body into a tomb.
moments and hours fade to dust
turning my body into a tomb.
hours fade into years fade into decades
slowly, my body becomes a tomb
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Rayleigh Edmonton, Alberta
Emotive hardcore from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Earth, Milky Way, Universe.
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