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If History

by Rayleigh

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1.
Pelican Bay 06:01
dragged through the mud, rising. there was once a fire in your heart, now choked free of oxygen. embers settle on your cheeks breaking in a broken body, my decade falling on fallow soil. love in a waiting room, with tissue burned and boiled. take this bitter water as if i’d really strayed. i’ll gather light and hold it at my heart then shed it in showers feathers fastened by a blanket rust from the attic, fall and stumble. what’s another year of nothing but something deserved i consoled you when your teeth met asphalt i tried to catch you on your way down, but your weight broke my arms like a great tree that fell, but no rocks shuddered. though you are gone i still feel you late at night when i close my eyes no clairvoyants needed anyone could see the end of this story from miles away. it all came to an end on this concrete slab in a pool of blood and sulfur
2.
gone missing in the depths of silt and soil blanketed by the heavy scent of rot, or an awareness of what was lost. a memento of collapsing time and space white lies add up, and the plot unravels like ticker tape a betrayal wandering spirit gathering jailers history in motion we're due northwest slice the mother tongue and wring these hands of blood noted divisions on papers red and white no sense of remorse even in hindsight you won't make a martyr out of me creosote on my hands and a tongue laced with iron. my thoughts weigh heavy, pinned down by a broken heart for lives never lived held fast by this patchwork of root and rubble
3.
obscurant branch, clear the brush towards the shed neath the thicket's awning a young body cloistered each fragment soaked in brine slurry brewed now annealed into a long figure, wrapped in the blanket of evening sun. obelisk limbs spread, split the trickling stream. whose bare bone kisses cement and joints creak with thick pendular burden shards of my bones are wasted, wasted and ground to dust each remnant, a passenger cast out, yet inscribed exist no more as a collectivity i hope you live your life without regret, safe from me
4.
Rat Creek 02:23
who are you sipping pale air who are you i have dropped my eyes who are you with excommunicator lips and a tongue sapphire, smooth let the temple fold in on itself as if a black hole until nothing remains, not even the dated photographs a collection of chrysanthemums kept below floorboards to one day be dried and arranged in your memory sequestered for ten years but I heard your voice one minute too late my life to the tune of closing doors scratched a line to separate mine and yours i never meant to disappoint you but the fuck if i turn back with my tail between my legs walked out in rain i chose my path
5.
kitchen table sitting in quiet shame you, amused by outward expression pushing me to elusive standards, of the image you kept close to your heart. but my being, cannot be contained to a single image. bound by mutual duty to uphold appearances while averting meaningful dialogue cut me down from the diseased branch to solid ground, i’d rather break my limbs than let you prevent me from planting a new forest you were assured once that your mistakes don't define you you grew to believe it and held it close and yet you are every mistake you’ve ever made
6.
Halfmoon Bay 04:02
deja vu, i'm a baby bird hitting the window of you ad infinitum let's just say fuck it and walk away here's to the bottom of every bottle! drove out east at dusk on township 230 left the dog on the edge of the road watched her a long time in the rear view til the curvature of the earth took her father and sentinel, came home empty a river runs through you, but never reaches me a son to do you proud on blackmail-tinged twilight strolls one foot then the other if this doesn’t work, let plates hit the wall we can always have a broken limb dialogue because everything’s in its right place and i held you with griever's arms so that you might one day thaw and sprout there is a wound that never heals it's always there
7.
Watchtower 02:26
emptiness the presence of possibility head wound under a clairvoyant sun god that licks his lips and basks in austerity my thoughts cut and bled soured soil and stained wood i am the child of this land of those who charred hands holding them to flame and i won’t speak to you by name now i feel that i should parse your shadow i fear you, destroyer as a simple man of sinew and bone should each lash a gift to suffer in paragon's pursuit oh, to be pious to be sterling ensconced to be meek to be benign a saxon wrote of your death i fear him, destroyer as a simple man of callow freedom should here lies one who only spoke in cypher and i wasted so much time
8.
we lay with our arms outstretched, brought together through a mutual fear of the linearity of passing time. we confine each other, to combat our flight from thought caught in the tide sea floor destiny with this iron lung lifestyle. no fire bright enough none to light my way i want to live my life with colour i long to hold these moments to steady my limbs i long to hold these moments in the palms of my hands in the wells of my mind in the depths of my heart earmarking my thoughts just to retain any bit of meaning even a sliver of light yet time abducts even our most bitter memories and we're always in flight idle, asleep, daydreaming at the switch and death is an invisible deadline
9.
Reunion 01:52
lost in memory my existence is forged. i’m but a ghost, shaded and faint i’m but a dream fading away embodiment of your hopes and dreams wandering with familiar strides impossible to stray. broken down, and reduced to the barest of components only to be built in the ideal image puppet for others to project on i am not real blank canvas to ruin never lived up to the real thing maybe one day you’ll meet me.
10.
nothing in mind to grasp, only air passes sense of self defined by the time on the clock what happened to cause this uncertainty? faceless figures, a life undefinable unsure if capable of conscious thought drifting through existence unrecognizable patterns and objects desperation to contextualize the emptiness in weathered journals. i am awake sheet paper with vaguely familiar symbols locked in procedural pathways her soft hands upon mine guiding the tune haunting my ailing mind if only i could hold onto this before she leaves and my mind is silent
11.
as time went by, so did we sympathy stayed my hand, but forgiveness is beyond us nothing was spared but your absence, hopes burning within. and a mockery of attempts do we deserve the time? lose myself within, echoes of what we once were. a chance at salvation, hope for a new beginning. our faith is blackened sludge, pumping through our veins, clouding these thoughts, and guiding my voice. there once was meaning to our unholy conviction. now, the beliefs are a prison purposed to raze beneath the salvation of my thoughts, this pile of embers and a wasteland of free will. encasing my body, rotting away my soul, breaking my spirit with undying hate, malicious thoughts. turning my body into a tomb. moments and hours fade to dust turning my body into a tomb. hours fade into years fade into decades slowly, my body becomes a tomb

about

ALL BAND INFO AT www.facebook.com/rayleigh666/

CASSETTES AVAILABLE THROUGH MIDDLE-MAN RECORDS: middlemanrecords.storenvy.com/collections/38349-all-products/products/23848512-rayleigh-if-history-cassette




if history were different
if we called the shots
you direct the sun and moon
and i can write the plots

then you broke our bodies
to halt our game with fate
but in amongst these shards of bones
we’ll heal and lie in wait

credits

released May 1, 2018

Recording by Lealand Grauwiler
Mixing by Will Killingsworth at Dead Air Studios
Mastering by Jonathan Velasquez
Artwork by Ricky Castanedo

Rayleigh:
Amy K - Vocals
Cory L - Bass, Vocals
Jordan D - Drums
Paul M - Guitar, Vocals
Michael W - Guitar

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Rayleigh Edmonton, Alberta

Emotive hardcore from Edmonton, Alberta, Canada, Earth, Milky Way, Universe.

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